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Seeds, Weeds, and Relationships

March 17, 2018


Growing up, one of my favorite things to do was to help my dad in our backyard garden. Even as a little kid, I was fascinated with how you could take these tiny seeds and turn it into fruits and vegetables. It wasn’t until I grew older, and wiser, that I realized such a process could convey a much deeper, and philosophical meaning. Most of us have heard of the ancient proverb of sowing and reaping. The law of sowing and reaping can be applied across many disciplines, but I am particularly interested in how we can look at this concept as it relates to relationships.

I remember having a conversation with a close friend who was in the process of planting a garden in his backyard. He was explaining the process of seeding, watering, guarding, and reaping. A light bulb went off in my head. This concept is the same for relationships. However, the concept is a lot easier said than done. It wasn’t until a major heartbreak that I examined the concept in depth. While I was sowing, and even watering, I wondered why my harvest (happiness) was still hit or miss. After reflection, I was able to analyze the process, and conclude that there were some additional steps that I missed that hindered me from having a fighting chance come harvest time.

Here are some things that I’ve analyzed.

Step 1: Tend to the Soil, First.

Tending to the soil in gardening means that you prep the ground for seeding. If you try to throw seeds on a ground that is not prepped, you will be quickly disappointed. To properly prep soil, you sometimes need to wet it and even till, or soften, the ground. In order for the seeds to have a chance to grow properly, the soil must be softened. The same can be said with your life. Many of us try to throw seeds on the hard dirt, and often wonder why we aren’t seeing results. Just like the soil prepping process in gardening, we must tend to our own soil. Many people miss this step in their pursuit of love. To tend to your “soil” is to tend to your soul. This means that we have to comprehensively look at our soul, work on healing, and focus on personal development.

This is key, as it determines the foundation that you set with someone that you may be interested in. We must ensure that our hearts are not hardened when seeking love. No matter how good the seeds that someone may throw out, if your heart is as hard as soil that hasn’t been prepped, the seeds will eventually wash away come the first rain. This means that you and your potential partner can create an atmosphere that will allow the seeds to become deep roots. Whether those roots thrive into a solid foundation for trust, friendship, and communication, well, that all depends on the second step. Just remember that the next time you feel like you’re ready for love, make sure that you tend to the soil, first

Step 2: Seed Properly.

Just like the garden, the seeds that you plant in your relationship will harvest just that. Thus, it would be insane to plant parasitic seeds and expect a full blossom of something beautiful. The concept of reaping and sowing in love is, whatever you decide to sow into your relationship, that is what you can expect in return. So, I think it’s safe to say, if we plant seeds of hopefulness, love, happiness, and gratitude, we are more likely to reap it in return. Understand that the harvest doesn’t happen overnight. In order for the seed to sprout, it must come undone. It must undergo some changes and experience growth. In order for that to happen, it must be able to thrive under the right conditions.

Furthermore, planting in the right season is just a vital. There is a reason that you plant during certain climates. There are also some basic needs that need to be met before we can see a return for our labor. Ask yourself, are you in a good place in life for love to truly blossom? Do you have everything you need in order for your seed to thrive?

If you are already in a relationship, are you prepared for the winters? When my wife and I first moved in our house, the grass was radiant green. As winter crept around, we didn’t sow into our yard. We didn’t know how to. As a result, come harvest, our grass was dead! You can sow in the winter, or dark times, of your relationship. This means that you put in the work to either prepare to prevent damage, or repair the damage that has already been done. Depending on the severity, it may take some time, and undoubtedly, a lot of patience. However, if you sow into the bond, there is a good chance that you will reap what you are looking for.

Step 3: Guarding From the Weeds

Of course, you don’t need a science lesson on the importance of water and life, I’ll spare you that. What I will say is that your relationship needs to be watered. Watering your relationship means to nourish it with that which gives it life. What keeps your relationship alive and well? The nourishment promotes healthy growth. This also decreases your chances of the relationship growing weeds.

You ever look at someone’s yard and all you see are weeds? You can just tell that maintaining their yard is not on the top of their priority list. Weeds are pests, both in gardens and relationships. Weeds can be friends, family, habits, addictions, outside influences, distractions, and even your own mental health. So, how do you protect your relationship from growing weeds? Well, weeds are a part of life. The sad truth is, it happens. The goal is to not let them overtake your yard, or relationship. The key is to tackle the minor weeds before it becomes a major problem. The idea behind growing a relationship is that you can’t just throw the seed down and walk away. You must be willing to put in the work and maintain your garden. Cultivate a relationship where you both have tended to your soil (soul), have intentionally sown good seeds into the relationships, and are both willing to put in the work so that you can reap.

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