JOURNEY & JEWELS: Being the Second Wife
I didn't plan on being the second wife, it just happened. In retrospect, I am so glad that it did. I sometimes ask myself if I could choose, would I rather have Landon the first time around. That question is unfair. Half of me would obviously say yes, the other half would respectfully decline. The truth is, there are some perks to being the second wife. But, I'd be lying if I were to say that it doesn't come with a cost. Let's dive right into the journey and jewels of being Landon's second wife.
When my husband and I first began to date, he was a few years out of his first marriage, and I had ended a relationship not too long before. I was skeptical about dating someone who was previously married, and older than me. However, everything just seemed right. If I am being fully transparent, I experienced some insecurities in the beginning, knowing that my husband had already had a marriage. He had already experienced the excitement of a wedding, and all of the joys of being in the honeymoon state of marriage. Being the "second wife" didn't sound like a suitable title, as often times, many people will try to place you in the shadow of the first wife. As terrifying as that reality could have been, fortunately it wasn't mine.
Within the first six months of being engaged, I was plagued by the idea of being the second wife. I wanted to be perfect. I asked myself every question a second wife may think of. Would his family embrace me? Could I be a better wife than his first? Was their relationship as amazing as ours? Does he compare us? Does he still have feelings for her?
My husband was very patient and understanding, and he did what he could to reassure me that our relationship was ours. As much as I know my husband loves me dearly, I struggled with knowing that I wasn't his first wife. It is much difficult going in, knowing that my husband took a vow with someone once before me. I had to realize that he was now with me for a reason.
Nonetheless, I have been able to defeat the doubts that I have had in my mind. I had to ask myself if I was willing to jeopardize something so special for something so minuet. Surely as our relationship began to grow, those insecurities within me slowly dissipated.